This month’s Stilettos and Champagne column is a review of the LELO Ida. Described as a “mind-blowing new way to share intimacy”, Ida is the world’s first remote-controlled couples’ massager to combine vibrations with rotations.
In springtime this year, I went to the US and visited friends of ours who live in Florida. One half of the couple we know and love works in a local equivalent of the expensive high street store we all know so well here in the UK and, amongst the treasures of 7 inch heels, pills galore, weird outfits and elephant dildos, was a beautifully crafted display case so apart from the “anatomically correct” offerings that I found myself actually asking “uhmm… what… what exactly ARE these?” The answer was LELO. Now even in US prices I won’t pretend they are cheap, they’re not. However I was assured they were “the biz” but even a close friend of mine failed to convince me to invest in the stunning assortment of adult sweets in front of me.
So when Lori asked if I’d review one for Rarely Wears Lipstick, I can’t begin to explain the hardship in the 0.3 seconds before I screamed YES!!! And then realised that actually she couldn’t heat me over email. Fast forward a week or two and a discreet package arrived. Rarely has my postman feared so comprehensively for his life as when I lunged for him to get my package. Dear postie, if you read this… I’m really very sorry, now please can you stop hiding round the corner, I promise it’s not normal to assault you!
I ripped open the postal wrapping and, as promised by Lori, the box was truly stunning. The quality is really something else and if you want to buy an adult toy for a partner, this Christmas THIS is the way to go! Inside the lovely black box lies a surprisingly small, but perfectly formed vibrator and remote. The remote is a little disc that fits neatly in your hand, has subtle little buttons and feels very natural. And then the Ida itself. It’s surprisingly small – I’m not sure why I expected something bigger, habit of vibrator size might come into this – but obviously this isn’t really a “fly solo” vibrator; this is for couples to play with. The Ida slips in before the man, and works it magic two fold. The module that sits on the clitoris vibrates away merrily whilst the internal piece rotates and the vibrations travel down here too.
Technically I think it’s brilliant. It’s super space age, but even for an Apple geek and a former hardware engineer I have to say the instruction manual was possibly not as simple as maybe it could have been. I did have a good 15 minutes of trying to figure out the shake-to-vibrate speed control feature – but the Ida arrived charged with batteries so at least I could get straight into figuring out how it worked. I do like the gyroscope technology, but keeping shaking the remote whilst in the throws of making love, or remembering to keep the remote horizontal or vertical for various speeds was, if I am to be honest… distracting! Turn that bad boy to your favourite setting and only mess with it if you feel the need for speed.
So, who would I recommend the LELO Ida for? Those ladies out there who may find it hard to climax without clitoral stimulus, the chaps who find it hard to ejaculate just from penetration, and couples who are open to trying new things and possibly having a bit of a giggle as you get used to trying this new toy. I can promise it will make the nights over the holidays a lot more interesting but I won’t lie – it’s a fairly pricey present from Santa. Then again, personally, I’d rather have this than an over priced badly fitting Chauffeurs outfit from Ann Summers that makes me look like I wanted to star in an MTV music video and actually ended up on X-factor!
This post was written by RWL columnist Stilettos and Champagne – Ever wondered about the secret lives of “the people next door”, “the mum in the supermarket”, “the executive ball buster at work” or even just “the ordinary looking woman walking down the high street”? Well… I’m one of those. DISCLOSURE: Stilettos and Champagne was sent an Ida, free to review by LELO.